I’m currently embroiled in the process of unwinding myself from my last startup. It’s a lot like breaking up with a long standing girlfriend. In fact I used that analogy today on the phone with my “soon to be” former partner. I said that before I met my wife, I broke up with a bunch of really wonderful women. They were all absolutely going to be perfect for someone else someday. I think it’s the same with business partnerships. Two otherwise great people find over time that they somehow do not make for an effective team. It’s just that not everyone is built to work closely with everyone else.
Of course it gets complicated real quick however. And in the complications it always seems a lot easier to start blaming the other person for everything that went wrong. The truth is, in the moment of breaking up it’s often hard to figure out what exactly went wrong, and so assigning blame at this point is usually pointless. While some of the blaming may be warranted, it’s rarely productive.
Also very unproductive is approaching the breakup with a sense of entitlement. Entitlement holds no bearing when two people have differing views on how to split up a diminishing financial pie.
Bottom line, the dreams that drive the birth of a new venture and the personal ambition that fuels the early stages, all need to stop when figuring out how to separate amicably.
So, I guess this is not a post about how to get what’s yours. If that’s your agenda, hire a lawyer. This is really a post about how to emotionally approach the separation process when a startup doesn’t turn out the way you hoped.
My advice, and it’s not coming from some great authority, is to approach the split with equal parts humility and practicality. Always ask yourself whether what you want is what’s best for you; for the company that might remain; for your family; for your long term reputation… It’s better to pursue being the person you want to be than to pursue external stuff you think will reflect or define you.